As I write to you today, I am in the air on my way home from Bali, flying smoothly somewhere over the Philippines. As the dark hours of night creep in, I feel like I am swirling in grace. The first time I went to Bali many years ago, my life felt very hard. I had been in the thick of single parenting my two young teens, one of who had recently been through the most severe trauma of his life, just the year prior. I had been trying desperately to parent him well through it all, but, like many parents, I had zero experience of parenting a child through a tragedy.It felt like I was driving in a blizzard with no visibility, gripping the steering wheel so tight, and praying for dear life. I was traumatized too, but there was no time for me (and I do not say that lightly). I had no choice but to put my feelings on the back burner, knowing full well that I would have to revisit them when there could be time for me again. The first time I arrived in Bali and saw this beautiful land –– just a glimpse of the people, their rituals, and the surrounding beautiful bright green rice fields and glorious flowers –– my heart cracked open and I melted into a puddle of tears. In the words of Andrea Gibson: “Trauma can undo the feeling that we are unconditionally loved.”Bali was where I was able to soften for the first time in years.Bali was my return to love. Since that trip, and over the past ten years, I have returned to Bali each year (other than during the pandemic). Each time, I feel I return home closer to my true nature, with wider glimpses of my soul as unbounded love.
THE HEALING POTENCY OF BALI — Boulder Nutrition
